By MPHO MOTSIE-MABUDA
As people we look for different things in relationships but there are some factors that are important in having a successful relationship. They can represent a foundation for a successful relationship. Most of the time when you do not have these then you can constantly feel that something is lacking in your relationship.
Sometimes people find these traits on people who are not their usual type but end up finding a soulmate.
Find a person you are sexually attracted to
– This is the one thing that is different to what you share with all your other friends. SEX. YOU need to find them physically attractive. If that physical attraction is missing, then they will be nothing more than just a friend.
You know you are sexually attracted to your partner when you enjoy kissing, cuddling and having sex with them. You will be turned on by them quite easily (if there are no health or mental restrictions).
You must be friends
– We usually call people our friend if we like them and enjoy spending time with them, this is important in a romantic relationship as well. You cannot spend the rest of your life with a person you can’t stand and expect to have a successful and happy relationship or marriage.
If you feel your secrets are safe with them, if they make you laugh, if you are both kind to one another, then you are compatible on a friendship level. If you don’t have that friendship, you will find that you try to avoid spending uninterrupted time with them.
You need to be intellectually compatible
– You constantly look forward to your conversations with them. Many people miss this point when looking for partner and focus only on the physical attraction. Intelligence can be measured in many ways, a person can be book smart or have great interpersonal skills, but if you feel like your intellectual skills are way above theirs then the relationship could suffer.
If the conversations that you have together challenge you and their thoughts and opinions push you to grow then, probably you have found a keeper. If you don’t get intellectual stimulation, chances you will get bored or something is missing. There is also a risk of losing respect for them because you might not feel the two of you are equals.
Connecting physically, emotionally and intellectually in your romantic relationship could be what determines the success of your relationship. Yes, some relationships do work without the above but it all depends on what your core needs are in a relationship, both of you need to be on the same page and want the same things.