How lack of self confidence affects your sexual enjoyment


Insecurity usually has a negative effect in our lives and that includes our sexual relationships. It can be quite difficult to be confident, and that could affect you as a sexual partner. This is not a surprise especially because of all the negativity that is put out there about sexuality, relationships, body images etc. its very shaming and judgmental. This goes for both men and women. Become aware of these insecurities which could sabotage your sexual relationship:

Overcompensating / over selling yourself Men usually do this more than women. Society usually has these standard set on what it means to be a man. They usually believe and make the mistake of thinking that if they over sell themselves to their potential partner, it will make them sexier. Usually when you overcompensate it means you lack something, and you know it. You find this with someone who is all talk but no action. Women usually express that they find men like that quite disappointing when it comes to sexual performance. So rather learn to, under promise and over deliver!

Belittle or putting people down
People who do this show a classic sign of insecurity. When you are in a relationship keep a close attention to how your partner talks to you. Do they mock you about how you look or your lack of sexual experience or even the amount of experience you have more than them or when you suggest new sexual activities you want to tryout. These people project their own insecurities on to you.

Constant need of validation
Usually this is when your partner asks you everytime after sex “How was I”. These people are seeking validation from other people to boost their egos. Start building your sexual and relationship skills. To gain confidence you need to put in the time and work on yourself, do research and consult a sex therapist or coach. When you relate to your partner based on fear, you can not experience pleasure, there won’t be any connection, so that relationship is doomed. Please follow us on Facebook (The Purpose).

Mpho Motsie-Mabuda
Relationship & Sex Coach

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