When your vagina just closes up, there is help out there

There are two potential causes of vaginismus: physical and psychological


When your vagina is like a cement door… Yes, it happens to some women, and yes it has a name. It’s called Vaginismus. What is it? It is when your pelvic floor muscles contracts involuntary and makes penetration horribly painful or impossible, ie. Penetration with a finger, tampon, penis, dildo, medical speculum etc.

Many women experience pain during sex and this is not normal, but you are not alone, and there is definitely help out there. For some women it is temporary but most women go their whole adult lives having painful sex not knowing that they can get assistance.

You can get aroused and even enjoy external sexual activities when you have vaginismus, but the issue usually starts when penetration has to occur.

Since talking about sex is still a huge issue and even taboo for many people, women find it hard to have these discussions even with their sexual partners.

These are some of the reason why someone would try to avoid having sex. Every time she has to have sex she gets nervous and anxious, that doesn’t help because her vagina will tense up even more.

There are many reasons why a woman experiences vaginismus. It could be due to a past sexual trauma, anxiety about the current relationship, vaginal dryness, infection and many others.

There are potential physical and psychological causes of vaginismus.
For physical causes it could be due to STI’s, Thrush, Endometriosis etc. Psychological reasons could be caused by fear, stress or anxiety towards sex, even fear of falling pregnant and many more.

If the cause is physical, it is very important to visit your medical doctor/gynecologist.
If the cause is psychological there are exercises that can be practiced to assist with treatment by training your mind and body, so don’t be embarrassed to reach out to a sex coach/therapist.

Remember though sex is not just vaginal sex, focus on experiencing pleasurable sex! It’s very important to focus on sex you and your partner will both enjoy not what society deems to be normal or real sex (penis in vagina sex).

So again as I always say, communication is very important with your partner, it’s important to work together and support each other during the treatment process.
While you are gathering courage to contact me or any other sex coach or sex therapist familiarize yourself with pelvic floor muscles/kegel exercises. They assist you with gaining control of your pelvic floor muscles.

Mpho Motsie-Mabuda is a relationship and sex coach – 0636805704

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